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Monday, June 8, 2009

Are YOU Moving?

I've never been a fan of change, more specifically, the changes that include "good-byes". I like to get myself settled in a comfortable world and I like it to stay that way! I remember enjoying vacations at my grandparents' house growing up and crying for hours...maybe days...when it was time leave that spoiled world and return home to rules and siblings. Oh, the hardships!

When we moved to our life here, I cried for months before and months after the move. I longed to be back home, with all my comforts of family and familiarity. Family would visit for a weekend and leave to me sobbing (pretty silly for someone in their 20s!). I was determined to hate being here and suffer through until we could finally move home. That was ten years ago this August - amazing!

So much has happened in those ten years - graduations, jobs, weddings (family ones!), deaths (C's grandfather), health issues, major purchases (a house!), babies (X3)! We have grown and changed so much over the years. We have made this our home - even with all the negatives I still throw out during our "how long are we going to be here?" arguments! We have settled in, made friends, adopted family, and made a place for us to belong.

One of our major searches over the time we have been here was to find a church where we felt at home. That's not an easy task in a state with few Lutheran churches. The first one we settled into soon lost its minister and we lost that feeling of comfort. We moved on and settled on another church...again the minister announced his leaving. We began to wonder if it was us! And we wondered away again. Months later we returned to that same church, needing that feeling of belonging. We met the new minister and felt comfortable - not at home, but comfortable. Over the next few years, we put off joining, convinced we were going to return "home" and fearful to put down roots. We would frequently tell the minister we were leaving for "home," only to return a few months later. Then Tater came along and the job market presented opportunities for us to stay. We joined that church and have slowly increased our involvement as we increased the size of our family. That church became our "family," filling that need when our real family was too far away. We have developed life-long friendships and found an understanding and accepting family - a place where we belong!

So, all that said, we thought we were settled until we decided to move. Little did we know that others had similar thoughts! We knew our friends, Dana and Nicholas, were not to be permanent members of our church family and our daily life. We were prepared for them to move when Nicholas finished school. We weren't even that surprised when they announced they were moving home to Texas (even though I told that that Texas no longer exists!). I was really okay with it! What I'm not okay with is the news I got today. Our wonderful minister, who has been such a driving force in our faith and sense of belonging in our church family, announced that she and her family are moving home to Minnesota. Once the shock wore off, I began to realize what a loss this will be for not just us but for our whole church community. She and her young family have set an amazing tone for the direction of the church. She has shared such a deep and real understanding of faith. There will be a great shift in our church community as we say good-bye and begin a new journey with a new leader.

That said, I need to address my selfish feelings in the matter! In August, we will be saying good-bye to two great families that have such an impact on our family. Our daily life, as well as our church life, will change drastically. It will take time but we will adjust - change is a part of life. But I'm angry! (And here's the selfish side!) They get to go HOME! When do we get to go home? When do I get to have family close by? When do I get to see my kids enjoy the spur-of-the-moment visit from a grandparent? When do I get to go out to lunch with my mom and still be able to go home to dinner with my own family? See the selfishness? I so want to be at the point those friends are at! I want that change and that feeling of excitement! I want to move HOME!

Instead, we are still here, still away from family. I'm happy for our friends - what amazing adventures they will be embarking on! Say a little prayer as they wade through the challenges and make the difficult decisions that will be coming their way! But say a few prayers for us as well - as we discover our changed church community and as we discover where we are meant to be (and, yes, Mom and Dad, you can pray for that to be back home!). God has a plan for us all and we just need to see where that will be! But it sure is hard to wait!

And from now on, I will frequently be asking the question "Are YOU moving?" I can't take the shock of these surprises! Good-byes are too difficult!

1 comment:

  1. A very good and moving piece, Andrea. Change is so much work. It was nice meeting you. Take care, Julie (Nicholas's mom)