October 15th

Today, October 15th is National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant loss.
This includes all babies who have died because of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death.

I have 4 beautiful children that came to us very easily.  But the story few know about is the two children I lost between Tater and Bruiser.  Tater was only a little over 5 months when I was having some unexplained issues.  My doctor suggested I take a test and surprise, surprise!...there were 2 lines!  The shock and panic hit first and then the concern that I was bleeding heavily set in.  We spent that first night in the ER, waiting and checking.  The doctors determined I had lost one baby but the TWIN was still viable...oh, my gosh!  So we went home thinking how crazy our life was going to become.  The next day we met with my OB, saw a little heartbeat, and then the bleeding started again.  That night I lost the second baby...and had an immediate D&C to control the bleeding.  

I struggled with the lose.  I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was loosing the babies.  It was a sad time but at the same time I was unsure what I was grieving.  That was August 8, 2005...and that day is always a sad one for me and my husband...one that reminds us that there are 2 little ones waiting to meet us in Heaven.  I like to think that my mom has gone on ahead to love on those babies while we love on our 4 here on earth.  She wanted nothing more that to be a grandma and I feel like she gets to enjoy that for eternity.

As unexpected as that pregnancy and lose were, I'm grateful for the path our life has traveled so that we could go on the meet Bruiser, Sassy, and Bubba.  God has a plan for each of us and it was written long before we were born.